What Doesn’t Kill You

neck

At this point, I could almost swear that I am cursed. Maybe it’s because I didn’t bless my great-grandmother’s ashes when they arrived at my doorstep.

Or maybe the odds just aren’t ever in my favor. Either way I’ve been having some rather unfortunate circumstances as of late. It seems that every week something new and unpleasant takes place, but maybe that’s just life…

Anyway, this week I’ve been suffering from torticollis. If you’ve never heard of it, torticollis is a condition in which the neck is tilted, and it causes pain and discomfort and immobility of the neck.

My neck has been killing me for days. It started out as just a little soreness, but it’s so severe now that I can’t move my head without experiencing great pain.

I laugh as I think “Why can’t I seem to catch a break?” It makes me wonder if the law of attraction is real and I’ve just been perpetuating my own problems with negative thinking.

At a time like this, what else would I have stuck in my head but “Stronger (what doesn’t kill you)” by Kelly Clarkson.

I have to find the silver lining in every situation. In this instance, I’ve learned about a condition and how to handle it. It’s also a blessing in disguise in that I had to miss work because of it, causing me to be stuck in bed, allowing me to have the time to write.

Though this pain sucks, at least I got to sleep in this morning.

If I didn’t dwell on the good in every bad situation, I might become despondent. So I will keep reminding myself that what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger, and wiser.

Keep on Keepin’ on

I’ve really got to use my imagination
To think of good reasons
To keep on keepin’ on

Gladys Knight and The Pips “I’ve Got To Use My Imagination”

It’s one of those mornings. The cold and the soreness of my neck have made getting up nearly unbearable. So did the knowledge that nothing good was coming, just another stressful day at work, leaving me exhausted and uninspired upon returning home.

Still troubled by the worries this week has brought me, I’m not in a great mindset, but Gladys Knight had the right idea. In times like these I have to use my imagination. My vivid imagination is what keeps me going. It has helped me through some tough times. I’ve used it to escape reality, through writing and reading, and dressing up as someone else. I’ve also used it to fast forward to the future, to a better time. Sometimes you have to picture yourself in the situation you want to be in. Maybe think of getting your dream job, or living where you want to live, and with the right person.

I’ve been in somewhat of a bad place the last few days. I’ve become weary from constant stress, and grief. I know also that part of the problem is my thoughts. I struggle with thoughts telling me I will never amount to anything, and I’ll never be happy. I need to change my thoughts. That fatty organ inside your head is extremely powerful.  Shifting your thoughts can change your mood entirely.

Every time I think “I can’t” I just need to change it to “YES I FREAKING CAN.” Fight back. Don’t let that voice in your head, that critique, that pessimist, dictate your mood. It sounds cliche, but gratitude and optimism are key.

I have to constantly remind myself that better times are to come. They always do. We live in a state of constant change. The philosopher Heroclitus wisely said “nothing endures but change.” If you’re in a bad place, remember it will not stay that way. It’s just a matter of time and patience.

For now, keep on keepin’ on.